First of all, Beyonce gonna get you fucked up........

So after 8 years of marriage, 12 years in a relationship and 6 months of separation 4 years ago (and a stint of dating 10 men during that period), I have learned QUITE a bit about this curious species we call man. We love them, but it is hard as hell to understand them. Some of you dating ladies have asked for my advice-- I would like to offer all you independent women what I have learned through ALL these tribulations of relationship.

Of course everything doesn't apply to every woman and every relationship, but take from this what you can.

I want to introduce the concept of this blog by briefly addressing this Beyonce madness that is going on all around us. Beyonce gonna get some of you all fucked up. Let's go down a LIST of the songs that she and her minions have tried to poision the female race with:

Single Ladies
Irreplaceable
Girl
Soldier
Say My Name
Bills, Bills, Bills
If I were a Boy
Me, Myself and I

Don't get me wrong. A lot of these joints is my SONGS!!!!!! and I KNOW she has some others that talk about real love. I get it. However, as true as some of these lyrics are......I'mma need all you single women, dating women and ready to get married women to realize that in real life, relationships don't work like this. And in real life, REAL MEN don't behave this way. In fact, most men HATE these songs. In all truthfullness.......the women who bumps stuff like this and believes in its message is the woman who shall be alone. At this point, this whole "single ladies" thing is getting the hell out of control. They takin this "putting a ring on it" mentality to damn far.

Because a "nigga" is NEVER gonna put a ring on it, so hopefully YOU ain't meesing with no "nigga". And by "nigga" I mean the "ain't about SHIT" men. Ya'll know the ones: They come in all colors, races, shapes and sizes. They may live with his momma/grandmomma/auntie; They may be selling drugs or cool as heck with the neighborhood pusha man; they "So Hood"; Maybe got some kids he ain't paying for in his back pocket; He lies; He's a cheat; He steals; Ain't got no money; no job; no car.........possibly has a friend named "Tyrone"..........

There are other types as well, like this new type emerging: the playa bachelor who are high society, have great jobs, possibly successful and just want to have sex and then say "they can't find the one".....most of them are in their late 20s, 30s and have been single all this time. Some have no children, no wife, never engaged and you think he is perfect. And maybe he is upon first sight. However, you have to be wary about these types. Although less ridiculous as the "nigga", they will break your heart because you think he will put a ring on it....but he might not because some like playing the "meet, sex, done" cycles well until their 40s. They may only call when they need someone to accompany them somewhere, need sex at like 2 a.m., put you out the next morning, quick get-a-way trips to nice places just so you don't hear from them again.........

And Lawdy, we not about to even start talking about momma's boys, down low brothers, dead beat daddies, baby daddies, jail birds and the rest! And of course, it is quite immature to think all men fit some predesigned category.....but when it comes to the ones we KNOW are not going to put a ring on it, you know who you messing with. As DEPLORABLE as these descriptions sounds, believe or not, MANY women are trying to be wifey to these kinds of dudes..... instead of realizing reality....that he ain't shit, and wasn't shit when you started dating him.

THEREFORE he was never gonna put a ring on it. And YOU knew that.

So in that context, Beyonce is correct, "If She WERE a Boy", she would do that dumb mess that BOYS do. "If he liked it than he should have put a ring on it" so therefore, since he didn't, I'mma mess with the next boy at the club I know he is at so he can see me. Since I'm paying for your house and car, and I bought all that stuff you got that you giving to that other chick, I guess that will make you think you "Irreplaceable". You can't pay my "Bills", so we done. So....now that we have established all this BS, "Girl"....I know I ain't talked to you in years, but this boy is acting a fool, so I'mma call you so you can put all that negative mess that I already knew in my ears, "that nigga ain't shit", "you betta off without him".....woo, woo, woo.................Cuz girl, I need a soldier that ain't scared to stand up for me..........but he wouldn't Say My Name when no one is around....so he didn't love me.......and after x amount of years, we through.

Doesn't this sound crazy? Does this sound familiar???

That is what this blog is for. We have GOT to stop playing these games with ourselves and our emotions. Believe it or not, I am friends with or have dated several men like this. When reality hits us in the face, we ignore it. And in some cases we miss the SIGNS!! Real men don't play games and don't want to play games. They want women that understand them, who they can grow with and who will be a great representation of him as he shares his name with you. But we women just KEEP playing games, and wasting time on men who weren't worth ANY of our time..........

And in more EXTREME cases, we pray at night for God to fix a man, make the relationship better or whatever and the BLESSING God sent us was for that fool to be removed from our lives, but we don't see that. We have got to step our game up and do better ladies. We have to stop ourselves from falling into this "Beyonce Trap".....dealing with no good men in the first place trying to make it work.

The bad part is, she singing this mess to YOU, while she up in New York enjoying one of the richest men in the Music Business who is PAYING her to have his kids....

Thus the name of this blog.

Trust, there are a lot of good men out there who WANT to put a ring on it but they are looking for women who have that feminine swagger that is independent, has her own, but knows how to comfort and nurish a man. Yours is out there, but do YOU know how to get him and keep him?

If the answer is no, I got your back!